Office Jargon v3.1

I'm trying to make time to read blogs again. Here's a recent post from Lyndonology that really made me actually LOL, and got me thinking about how great it is to be "working in the interactive Web 2.0 space" these days. His post is a derivative from BBC News Magazine's Article, 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate.

I've heard a bunch of the office phrases he lists in the post, but I haven't heard all of them before... there's a few really juicy ones in there. These days, I try use phrases like this in meetings and stuff just to see if I can get others to use them, and because they're generally empty phrases that lack any real useful substance. It's kinda fun in a twisted sort of way. Give it a try, just make sure you use these phrases with conviction, and never ever back-down or break into laughter if you're pressed into a situation where you'll need to actually explain what you mean. Just think quickly and make up another one, look at your watch and let that person know you have a meeting to get to!

Perk up those dull meetings
I used to work with a guy (he's hilarious) who made the greatest sounding "tech phrases" up and then use 'em in meetings to see how long it took to have his own phony phrases come back to him. It's just great to hear a CEO talk about the "creamy goodness" of a "web product's UI" or functionality.

In the beginning...
What about the early days? Remember when people used to want to make their web sites "sticky"? Kinda like fly paper, or maybe something you might find in a public restroom stall? Yeah, right... great. That'll make me want to bookmark you. I'm not sure you're "grokking it" though.¹ And here's a great old-style umbrella phrase that was used to describe everything but your microwave oven, "multimedia" ...it still has a certain zest to it, doesn't it?

Here's a recent one I've been hearing more frequently: "socialize". This one is really kinda growing on me — it's so upbeat and snappy! Doesn't it sound just groovy? Like we might get to dance or have drinks, and possibly even snuggle-up?

I think these phrases are great if you're just getting into the "high tech industry" or have a tough time putting several consecutive substantive and meaningful sentences together. They're great for making that flashy first impression too. They're also great to whip out in interviews, parties and even holiday get-togethers with old friends or your extended family. Go ahead, give them a whirl. Cousin Jed will think you're a real "rocket surgeon" who works on that "internet thing." Folks will think you're, "on the ball."

Here are a few more gems coupled with the reason(s) I find them interesting:

• Ah, let's revisit that again later"
  
  No, let's have a visit with it right now -- isn't that the reason we're having this forever-long meeting in the first place?



• [insert product or website name here] is getting a lot of buzz lately
  
  Dude, we're in a boardroom, you can't smoke that in here!



• Can you take that offline?
  
  We're in the parking lot, so technically we're not really "online" per se. Which leads me to this one...



• Technically speaking, blah, blah, blah...
  
  This one's very popular with engineers, folks who your frinds jobs have been outsourced to, and consultants.



• Let's continue to press on
  
  Very lively and invigorating! Um, yeah that's gonna make me type faster.

...and here's a few I hope to start circulating soon: "Yeah, I'm clickin' it..." or "ok you've got my bookmark" but maybe they need a little more post-processing?

:-|